Reply to Friend separated from spouse but didn't say anything

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[quote=Anonymous]I know it's not my business, but I'd like to be supportive. Is it weird to reach out?

The situation is that there's a neighborhood group of about a dozen moms that get together monthly for happy hours. Most of us have high schoolers and have been doing this since the kids were in preschool together. Within the group some people are closer to some people than others and get together separately, but many of us just see the others whenever we can make it. I think we'd all consider each other friends at some level, or at least part of a support circle, which is how the group originally formed.

At our last gathering one of the moms, "Annie," mentioned something about the kids being with their dad that week. I wasn't the only one who looked confused but nobody said anything and the conversation moved on. I later asked my DD who sometimes rides the bus with Annie's kids if they're still on the bus route and she said "only when they're not at their dad's." The kids aren't close at all anymore, so I can only guess this isn't secret information.

I love that this group is not at all gossipy. But this made me realize that maybe we don't really know each other that well at all. I think Annie is more private than some of the moms who seem to share everything about their lives. In retrospect, she missed a bunch of get togethers but that's not unusual since we all have busy periods of life. Most months there are probably 5-8 who can make it.

My question is, is it more respectful to just continue to mind my own business and not say anything? Or is it kinder to reach out and just see how she's doing?

Normally I'd leave it alone to not invade privacy but I keep second guessing myself because my parents were from another country and I don't always get cultural norms right. Also as a shy person I tend to be slow to ask for support but do really appreciate when people reach out. I recently went though the loss of a close relative and kind of shut down and didn't tell anyone but was so grateful to get cards or texts from people who learned through my husband. But a card feels weird for this I think.[/quote]

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