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[quote=Anonymous]a few weeks ago our dd switched into a class with a boy who is almost a year old and who tends to be a bit mean to the other children. he is much more articulate (sounds like a 6 year old instead of the 4 year old he is) than anyone else in the class and often makes remarks to the other kids like "you're so annoying" or  "you are ugly" or "stupid!" to the other children. i never thought a four year old could sound condescending but he manages to do it.

our dd has told us that a bunch of times that this boy said something mean or made mean faces at her and cries. but she also imitates him by saying this type of stuff to other children on the weekend while she is out on the playground. she seems to both not like him and be in awe of him since he is kind of the boss of the class.

as you can imagine this is incredibly upsetting to us as parents.

we raised the issue with the teacher of our dd's behavior WITHOUT bringing up the other friend and the teacher was the one that brought up the other friend. she said there was a friend in the class who is not always kind to his friends and she though it is because this boy has two older siblings and that he learned some not so nice language from them. she said our dd often likes to follow this friend around and imitate him. the teacher emphasized that this friend is actually a nice boy but sometimes had some bad days.

we have tried to tell our dd that this is not an appropriate way to act but it hasn't helped very much. on the one hand, we are considering taking her out of the preschool. but on the other hand we are wondering whether there are kids like this in every class? or is 4 years too young to be acting like this?

most importantly, does anyone have any advice about how to talk to our daughter about this to make her understand that her friend is not bad but that his behavior is not to be imitated. we know the responsibility for how we teach our child to act is ours.[/quote]

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