Reply to Ex's Permissiveness Underminding Parenting

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[quote=Anonymous]If you have family near you, it's good to ask them to help you reinforce your discipline and values with your kids.  I try to remind my kids that while it's true that Dad's house= Dad's rules, if you do "X" at my house or at school, you will be disciplined.  My kids are allowed to swear at Dad's house, because Dad swears in front of them.  But they know good and well, if they trot out that behavior here or in the classroom (elementary, no less), others won't tolerate it.

Then I tie that back to why I'm holding them to a higher standard than Dad's rules  - because if they follow Mom's rules, they'll do well in life and stay out of trouble.  It's a whole lot easier on a parent to mentally check out and be permissive, than take on the challenge of training up a child the way s/he should be raised to be a contributing member of society.

I remember my mom ALWAYS said something like that to me when I was a teen, and I'd whine about my friends' parents being so much cooler and they let my friends do XY&Z.  She'd always tell me those parents must not love their kids as much if they let them do those things, because it certainly wasn't her idea of fun to argue with me about it.  Made sense then, and makes even more sense to me now as a parent myself.[/quote]

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