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[quote=Anonymous]I’ll try to make it short. Grew up with a mentally ill mom who was low key abusive (hoarding is one example) and an enabler dad. I used to feel very bad for him as I saw him as exploited by mom, loved him and considered very smart. I think it may have been some sort of emotional incest on his part as I saw him as “one of us against the evil witch mother”. 
Anyway, at 18 I saw him for what he was - a weak enabler who couldn’t protect us kids - moved out at 19, and left town altogether at 25. Mother always gatekept access to him so I didn’t talk to him much for over 2 decades. 
My mother finally died a few years ago and I moved my dad closer to me. He is now 80, lives close and needs a lot of low key help like dr appointments or administering meds or cleaning so I can’t help but see him every few days.

The problem is that I can’t get over the anger I feel towards him. Apparently after my mother died I had some sort of childish hopes of reconnecting with the dad I had when I was a child, the one I adored and considered the smartest man on earth. He is a shallow, egotistic man who is afraid of everything, full of crazy conspiracy theories. Idk if I overestimated his intelligence or if he is just old, but there is nobody to reconnect with.
My sibling who helps out with money doesnt do day to day care feels the same btw.

I’ve been in therapy before and of course the issue of parents did come up but it was years ago. I don’t want to do therapy again. I am looking for similar experiences and maybe you can share your words of wisdom with me.

I don’t see him more than 30 mins per day but even that is becoming too much. I can probably have him administer the meds himself, that way I’ll see him maybe once or twice a week, but not sure it’s going to help. I am already trying to avoid any meaningful conversation but I still manage to get irritated! 
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