Reply to Custody and verbal/emotional abuse of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Be very careful with this. With a man like this he can be highly manipulative and could turn it around so he gets her to not want to be with YOU, or he claims parental alienation if you attempt to influence her to not be with him. The die is cast, he is already her father. IMO it is sometimes best to support her as she gradually figures things out for herself about who her dad is.[/quote]

Follow up to ask if you think it’s better not to split so I can keep her safe?[/quote]

I left 9 years ago and have an 11yo that I coparent with. He still speaks and engages poorly with her, and certainly is emotionally negligent, but I kindly make suggestions for how they can improve their bond, he sometimes suggests things to me, and sometimes we listen sometimes we dont. Leaving is a little better because neither parent wants to get dragged into court for mistreatment or ever doing anything that isnt in the “best interest of the child”, which is clearly defined measured and outlines in your jurisdictional code. You should be able to look it up online. The parent that best supports the best interest of the child is the primary driver of decisions in family court. Children have many interests. How you succeed in having her needs met married vs divorced you need to consider how you coparent now, and how you would coparent after divorce. The equation is different for everyone.

However, you deal with that manipulation crap? Appoint a GAL for the child, so they have legal advocacy that is unbiased. Sometimes the court will appoint one on their own with no cost to neither plaintiff nor defendant. The court sometimes covers the cost.

I was awarded sole custody with visitation at my discretion, and we eventually went to 50/50 shared physical with me primary legal. This was after family counseling post divorce and a lot of healing and hard self work occurred.

She can express her preference at 10. Everything she says matters. Ensure she has credible representation. You can also hire a GAL or aplit the cost between yourself and husband in divorce costs.

How is your daughter responding to Dad’s mistreatment?

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