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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have no therapist recs but have worked on letting go of my guilt!

I yell at my 7 year old ADD son several times a week. I have made enormous efforts to restrain the impulse to slap him. I sometimes resort to speaking acidly or use sarcasm.

Oddly enough, we have a great relationship, and hug and kiss during 99% of the bedtime routines. We tell each other "I love you".
He knows that I love him and have sacrificed so much for him. He knows that I will always put his needs first, ALWAYS.

I communicate openly with him about his special-ness - of which he is very aware (he told me at 4 years old that he could not turn off his thoughts to listen to me or to fall asleep - like a TV perpetually on). 
I filled him in on the IEP discussions and classroom accomodations. 
When we moved recently, we discussed school choices and extra-curricular activities, which we selected to strengthen his weaknesses. 
His talents and skills are highlighted just as his weaknesses are pointed out. Everything is open and explained. I am sure it helps build a climate of trust.

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PP: What type of extra curricular activites does your son enjoy? Mine is 7 as well. It sounds like you have a beautiful relationship. Thanks for sharing.

-OP[/quote]

You're welcome :-)

Before we moved from Bethesda, DC did Karate - it is said that martial arts improve focus, and it is true that he had to concentrate hard to follow the rapid tempo and precise directions. The sensei gave out stickers at the end of class for paying attention, and when the children accumulate 10 stickers they get a little Karate pin, badge, etc... DC received a sticker less often than the others, but it did work as a motivator, whereas previous home or school reward systems were of no interest to him.

Now my son has violin lessons at his new school - it is a difficult first instrument, if the finger is not precisely where it should be on the string the sound is awful, so again, lots of concentration needed. He loves it, and is quite musical.

At home, I give him abacus lessons. His mental calculation is slow, so we borrowed from the abacus mental math method taught all across Asia to boost them. He used to receive lessons from Komodo Abacus in Germantown. The abacus method engages the right side of the brain to visualize numbers, whereas traditional mental calculation only involves the left side of the brain. If your son is very visual, like mine, it could speed up his maths. He thinks it quite fun.

Lastly, he has writing practice at home, which he loathes; but his handwriting (spatial localization in general) is poor, so we practice dictation and letter formation to stay on target for school. In the future for middle school, his IEP will probably include the ability to use a laptop to type in class.

His strengths are being extremely creative and inquisitive, and he has the run of our bookshelves.

I'm a one woman multi-therapist for my son - much cheaper than all the occupational, speech, physical therapists that he had before! Doing all this for him is also therapy for me - I can see we are making slow, slow, progress, and that reassures both of us.

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