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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People love my mom. They think she's clever, charming, self deprecating, talented, etc.

And she is. She's all those things.

But she doesn't have room for anyone's needs but her own.

This is a small and silly story.

For about five years of my childhood, I wanted a particular American Girl doll above anything else in the world, consistently. Never wavered. We weren't well off, but it was literally the only thing I wanted. Over those five years, my mom and her family members regularly engaged with me in conversation about my love for this character and desire for the doll. But I never got it. I got less expensive items, and more expensive items. But never the doll itself. Like, they sent me to horse camp every summer when I was meh on horses. I had the huge Victorian PlayMobile dollhouse with all the accessories down to the piano that played real music, but not the AG doll.

Years later, my then fiance found the then discontinued doll on eBay and bought it for me after hearing me tell the story above. It was half a joke and half a message of "hey, I see you." A few days later, I was talking to my mom and I told her about fiance getting me the doll.

She immediately interrupted me to tell me about a new AG doll that had her name and was from her 'era' and how someone had bought it for her because it was just such this amazing coincidence.

It's that dynamic over and over again. It wears you down. I could tell you other stories - about violating boundaries around my children or two decades of expecting me to put my own needs second to hers - but it comes down to this:

A narcissistic parent thinks they are the sun in the solar system. The worst ones don't even realize there are other bodies in the solar system.[/quote]

The narcissist . might be you.[/quote]

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