Reply to Embarrassed about career -- WWYD re work mentor?

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[quote=Anonymous]I’ve worked at the same place for 5 yrs (first professional job).  First 2 years went awesome -- I got to work for a woman who was 5 years ahead of me, who became my mentor, and we worked very well together on multiple projects; during those 2 years I also worked with many others and received excellent reviews from all and she made her next promotion.  The next 3 years, she and I haven’t worked together but she has remained a mentor on all kinds of career issues, we grab meals when we're in the same city etc (consulting lifestyle).  Yr 3 continued to be good, yr 4 - I expressed some ambition in making the next promotion also (and then was suddenly told I wasn’t THAT good despite the countless previous reviews that said I was excellent and already functioning at the next level).  Predictably yr 5 (now) -- I know the end is near, as my dep’t has little work to go around and it isn’t coming to me; I am job searching and hoping to get out on my own before anything happens, though who knows.

Problem is -- I am humiliated in front of my mentor.  She really did believe I was awesome and I think still may.  We have talked some here and there and she always rolls her eyes when she mentions that they shot me down for a promotion -- presumably bc she thinks I was good enough for it.  Now if something terrible happens -- it will be even more embarrassing.  At some point, she will start thinking to herself -- “what is her problem, I thought she was good and now she doesn’t work hard etc.” (I don’t bc I am focused on job searching, not dragging out my current job).

I normally don’t care what others think but she -- as opposed to my other managers -- has been such an integral part of my work life and I don’t want to just let that relationship slip away.  If I had made my promotion, we would have spent the better part of 10+ yrs working together and now that’s gone.

Do I say anything to justify myself? Do I just stay away? Right now I’m avoiding her bc as management, she knows what is happening to people year-end, and I don’t want to discuss it with her due to embarrassment.  WWYD?
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