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[quote=Anonymous]As a nurse, I've seen this many times.   Between the pain and the difficulty and length of recovery, the feelings of "why bother, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this" can become pretty prominent.   Depression in this type of setting is real.   Unfortunately, I've also had many patients who have gotten pneumonia or other post op complications from refusing to move or do things, and some have passed.

A few suggestions.

Listen and just be empathetic. It doesn't help at all that people are just frustrated with them.  Including the staff.  It's not encouraging and it's not going to motivate them. If depression is the trigger, it's going to make it worse.  Instead, acknowledge that you understand how and why they feel this way.

If they haven't met with a therapist yet, get one on board.   I've seen big turnarounds on patients who end up on some meds to get them through the situational depression

If you, or any of your siblings or close family members don't live in Europe and are able to visit, do it.   It will bring a great serotonin boost for them and may give them some motivation.

After these things are done, then it's time to talk to your parent about their wishes.   Do they have advanced directives and all that?   Do they want their code status revisited?  It's hard, and it's sad, but ultimately, the best thing you can do is honor what someone wants for their care.   I had to make the difficult decision to not have my dad undergo life saving surgery because I knew he didn't want to live with the outcome of the surgery.  It meant he died.  Horribly sad BUT I've never once regretted it because I knew I was honoring what he wanted.   [/quote]

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