Reply to Why some kids are grateful and caring and others arent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well 2 things come to mind.

1.  If you're on the outside looking in, you have no idea what things were like behind closed doors
2.  If you're the parent, your kid may not have viewed their childhood the same way.

I'm sure my mom would describe herself as a dedicated parent who provided all she could.  And she was.  She was also a control freak who was prone to overreacting and manipulating and guilt tripping us.  We walked on eggshells with her being afraid to say or do something that would unintentionally set her off.   As I got older and tried to talk to her about this, she accepted no criticism and waffled between everything was my fault or I was making it all up.   But I know on the outside, we presented as such a perfect UMC family with a SAHM who was active in the community.  [/quote]

You come across as immature to me. The measuring stick for a parent is what choices they made given who they were. My dad was raised very poor (to the point of food insecurity) and has carried the resulting trama his whole life even though I grew up MC. You would likely call many of his parenting choices controlling. I didn’t like them at the time and haven’t done the same to my kids, but based on the life he’d lived to that point. Though as an adult I’ve never doubted he was trying to do the best he could for me seeing life through a very different lens. 
[/quote]

DP:  Kudos to you.  However, don't call the PP "immature".  You have no idea what their life was like growing up.  Plenty of parents are very controlling and there is really no excuse for that (unless the controlling is reigning in a kid heading towards drugs/gangs/etc).  From the description, the PP mom was a controlling person and not really a great parent, despite what it might seem to the outside.

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