Reply to teen alienating teammates by perservating on perceived injustice

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a teen who has ASD, level 1. He plays a sport with some really nice kids. last year, he was hyper focused on this new younger kid who "got his spot" on the team. In reality, no one has a spot and this boy was just better. My son was so angry at this kid, the coach, and vented to the one teammate who he is actually friends with. I told him that we could not go through another season where he was so negative and fixated on someone newer and better taking "his spot." Cue to the new season and I saw some texts with his one friend and my son was asking him he thought that ___(another new but younger and better player) would take his place. again, there is no place but there are a limit of elite players who play in the higher level games. His friend was kind but basically said to leave him alone with these questions and just do the work and practice. I gently brought it up with my son about this because he has no other friends other than those on his team and event those are tenuous.

It makes me very sad for him that he can't just enjoy this sport and is so fixated on what happened last year and is already focused on it happening this year. It also makes me sad that the one friend he has made who seems to actually like him is now getting irritated with him. I seriously can't go through another season where he is stressed out, not enjoying it and angry if someone who he thinks is undeserving does better than him. I honestly don't think his friendships with his teammates will survive him doing this again either. He seems to get no joy out of this but won't give it up.

I am really tempted to just tell him he can't do this sport anymore. It is stressing me out already and the real season hasn't even begun yet. He made his life miserable and our life miserable and he has no insight on why he was not selected for the higher team, or have a plan to get better. He just keeps saying that so and so took his spot and he really wasn't that much better and he can see it happening again with this other kid. I really really want to just pull the plug on this but it's his only interest and his only social outlet.

I just feel so sad for him but also just exhausted and stressed for myself. He is seeing a therapist which he just started with but reluctantly because, according to him, he doesn't need help. Any help or just commiseration would be helpful. [/quote]

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