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[quote=Anonymous]My dad is very similar to the first poster who responded. He is SUPER charming and charismatic. From the ages 12-16, I used to bed him to start a cult, because I knew people would give him money and we could be rich (now I realize how insane this was).

But he is a really damaged person who truly cannot see anyone else’s perspective or care about their lives. I now liken it to being raised by a Donald Trump like person. He only remembers things about me that make him look good — like I went to an Ivy League school and am now in the C suite. But, he literally knows nothing about me. He can go months without reaching out to any of his children. When he finally does, it is either because he needs a favor or he feels like he isn’t getting enough attention so it is some super crazy medical thing. My favorite one is when he told us all he knew he was getting Alzheimer’s. And then I few weeks later, “I saw the neurologist, and I have a SUPERIOR memory to any man my age.” When he reaches out he never asks how I am or how my kids are. He doesn’t care.

He is also literally the hero of every story he tells. It is actually hilarious. My mom died and he got remarried. My special needs kid was struggling a bit to I left during the speech he gave. I came back and said to my husband “so did he tell x, y and z stories where he tries to act t like he is self deprecating but really he is the star.” And my husband was like “yep.” So I didn’t miss anything. My sister did tell me later that he went on a bit about his relationship with his new wife’s daughters but didn’t mention us or his grandkids — which is also totally on point for him. He wanted to impress the new people in his life.

He was also a highly functioning alcoholic — if you don’t count destroying the relationship with his own kids. But that has now fallen apart in his mid 70s with a DUI and the new wife is as much of a train wreck as he is.

I mostly stopped caring much by my early 20s. He is who he is. I have fairly limited contact. I see him a few times a year for lunch, and I prefer when other relatives come so they can talk to him.

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