Reply to Fixation on saying they’re a good person- why?

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Reply to "Fixation on saying they’re a good person- why?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Has he always been like this?

My husband grew up in an emotionally abusive household (his dad abused his mom and the kids and his mom would in turn abuse him in a different way) and he can be very sensitive to feeling like he's being criticized. He's been in therapy for a long time (I wouldn't have married him had he not been aware of the situation and actively working to deal with it) but every once in a while he can still feel like he's being "attacked" if I were to say something similar to what you did. (There is nothing wrong with what you said, and actually, I think you said it in the perfect way by explaining the consequences and not just calling him inconsiderate or whatever).

That was probably too many words but at the end of the day, he needs to be in therapy to figure out why this is his response. It's not ok for him to deflect what he did by trying to make you out to be the bad person. And of course good people make mistakes - there's something disordered about his thinking there. That's why I asked if he had always been like that. If not, perhaps something about mid-life is causing this (stress, etc.). [/quote]

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