Reply to Cuddle theory

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Cuddle theory"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Based on what I've seen as a high school teacher, I think that kids from homes that are stable, and secure, and who know they are loved are less likely to seek adult style relationships early in HS.  I am not saying "oh, that mother seems so distant".  I'm saying that kids who have jumped from foster home to foster home, or who have experienced abuse, or who were raised by a 13 year old mom who struggled to parent, often struggle to either set boundaries, or respect boundaries, and seek attention and connection at whatever cost, and those things can lead to early sex, sex with multiple partners, sex with inappropriate partners, unprotected sex etc . . .

But I think that taking that, and thinking that you can follow it to an extreme and say that extra cuddling on top of normal loving parenting, will prevent all teenage sex?  That's weird.

Parent your infants and toddlers appropriately, which includes some physical affection.   Follow their lead to some degree (e.g. don't force cuddles on a kid who doesn't want them). It will have positive outcomes in their lives.

Having said that, there are other factors as well that have nothing to do with parenting.  I have one kid who was super cuddly as a young child.  I have one kid who was much more physically active, and much more impulsive, and much more courageous.  He was just as loved.  Our attachment is just as secure. He was just too busy running around and exploring to have time for cuddling.  As a young teenager, he continues to be the kid who takes risks, and seeks new sensations, and isn't afraid of consequences. It wouldn't surprise me if he explored physical things earlier than his brother.  But I expect that because he's had years of appropriate behavior modeled, when he does it will be safe and consensual.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics