Reply to DH intentionally falling asleep on couch to avoid cpap

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[quote=Anonymous][twitter][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can’t force anyone else to manage their health differently. You can force people to eat healthier, exercise more, manage their stress, or get better sleep. You can’t force someone to take medication or use medical equipment.

You have already clearly made your views known. The doctor has reinforced it. Now he gets to make his own decisions. He is an adult. You don’t have to like it but it’s his choice.[/quote]

But if his choice affects the rest of the family, shouldn’t that be up for discussion? OP here and when DH doesn’t use his cpap, he is a drowsy grumpy mess the next day. He denies it and says he can’t control his mood. But if it’s a weekend he’ll disappear to go nap or if it’s the evening he’ll say he’s too tired to do dishes or handle kid stuff and then nap on the couch.

If I did something like stay up all night watching movies or going dancing with my friends whenever I felt like it and was too tired to parent the next day, I feel like that would be up for discussion because it would be unfair to DH and dumping responsibility on him. [/quote]

He has had it for a decade and it seems like they have never ending discussions about it. She doesn’t say he doesn’t manage his family responsibilities because of it. Nagging someone day in and day out and going at them every morning about it isn’t really an effective strategy. [/quote]

OP and I literally just said above that he doesn’t manage family responsibilities when he’s sleepy.[/quote]

Oh I missed you were OP. My point still stands. Are you sure everything is equal. Do you work the same hours, take on the same amount of financial
Responsibility for the family? Do you keep yourself the perfect picture of health and fitness?

I am not sure why you posted. Your approach of nagging and trying to control him isn’t working but it seems you want to keep doing that. Do his efforts to nag and control you work? [/quote]

He controls me passive aggressively. For example, he worked from home today so there were a ton of dishes compared to one dishwasher load at night because he was home and cooked himself breakfast and lunch. I cooked dinner so it was his turn to clean. But since the dishwasher had been running, it was clean and full. He didn’t do the dishes because he said he didn’t want to have to do twice as much.

Responsibilities are not equal beyond  that, no. We both work but I am the default parent and do the “second shift” even when he is not traveling. Him doing the dishes is pretty much the only responsibility at home he’s taken on that isn’t something that’s 1x/year. He does things like calling the sprinkler guy in the spring or taking the dog to the vet.[/quote]

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