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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course you respond to babies, talk with them, engage with them, and of course they rely on you for just about every basic need. That said -  historically, moms have not been their children's playmates. They would play peekaboo here and there, or sing a song while rocking to sleep, or read a bedtime story, but this 24-7 attention to babies is pretty new in the scheme of things. I can't help but wonder if that also correlates with kids in general seeming needier with each generation.

I do think if your husband is noticing things (and you generally trust his judgment), you might want to consider whether you are overdoing it, or neglecting yourself or your marriage. A little time doing non preferred activities (such as being by themselves while you and DH have a morning coffee together or you go take a shower) can help older babies develop independence, flexibility, etc.  [/quote]

I agree with this.

Yes, you want to interact with them and engage with them, but ten months old is a good age to work on the skill (yes, skill) of entertaining yourself. You said so yourself, she's "easily bored." That isn't a personality trait. You have gotten her used to always being entertained by you, so she doesn't know how to entertain herself. That's fine - she's 10 months old! You're doing great! But it won't be fine at 24 months, and in fact will be a mess. So, now is a good time to start working on it. A good way to do this is a formalized "independent playtime." We did this with all three kids.

To start, you put the baby in a safe place out of your sight (we used the crib, lights fully and brightly on so it was clearly not sleep time, but others use a pack n' play or fenced in area) with a few (3 or 4?) toys, tell them it's time to play and you will be back in 10 minutes in a cheery voice (they understand more than you think), and set a timer with an audible beep in the room (kitchen timers are great for this).

The first day, it's very likely she will cry the whole time. That's OKAY. A 10 month old can cry for a few minutes and feel lonely and bored. When the timer beeps, you go in with big smiles. "You did it! I'm so proud of you! You played all by yourself! What a big girl!" Big hugs and cuddles and smiles. Then do it again tomorrow. I had a rule that if they cried through the whole thing, I decreased the time by a minute the next day. If they never cried, I increased by a minute. If it was intermittent, I left it the same. Work up to 30 minutes. We got there, in fits and starts, in 1-2 months.

I think this is especially important with the first. You sort of naturally leave subsequent babies to entertain themselves sometimes because you have to tend to the other children, so they adapt. But I know a LOT of families who hit a REALLY big headache when baby #2 arrived because their older child was used to constant entertainment/adult engagement. Get in front of it now - it's a great time to start. [/quote]

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