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[quote=Anonymous]DH is very possessive. He does not like me talking to men (regardless of if he is present or not, regardless of if they are professional contacts or not). If I do talk to a man, I am accused of cheating.

I have not cheated on DH, emotionally, physically, or otherwise. I have had male coworkers that I would joke around with in a co-ed work setting (group chit chat in the lunch room, or at a group dinner while at a conference). I have been social with the dads (and moms!) in my kids’ circles (chatting in the bleachers during little league, etc). But I didn’t talk to these people outside of those specified times or activities.

Because of my husband’s accusations, I started changing my behavior. I bring a book to baseball, or eat my lunch in my office, and I dropped out of the group chat.

About 18 months ago, there was a woman on my husband’s softball team who he would always talk about. I saw them together a few times, and she was quite attentive to him, like she had a crush. I didn’t really care but during one of our arguments about me talking to/accusations of me sleeping with other men, I brought this woman up and how was the double standard ok?

I was told it was OK because he wouldn’t cheat, and she was happily married and didn’t pose a threat, and that she was moving at the end of the year anyway (last year). The season ended, and I stopped hearing about her. The accusations of cheating started to insinuate that he had stopped talking to the softball friend because of me.

Then two weeks ago, I went to one of his games, and she was there, playing on the team like always (it didn’t seem to be a “in town for the holiday weekend and subbing in” type of thing). I still don’t have the full story about why she was there. Something about they needed female players, and I declined to play, so she stepped in, and since she already paid the league fees and arranged her work schedule to play, it was unreasonable that I was questioning her presence. But basically it’s my fault. And there is no explanation about how she is still in the area when she supposedly moved. Apparently she “still gets the emails”.

Then last week, my husband started saying it wouldn’t be a big deal if I slept with someone else as long as I didn’t divorce him, and that crushes on other people are normal and healthy in a marriage. All while accusing me of cheating on him with a dad from my kid’s scout troop (I’m not).

I don’t know what the heck is going on anymore. I now feel like there was something that happened between him and the woman from softball—maybe last year, maybe this year—and he is trying to give me a free pass. Thinking about that makes me sick. But then why continue to accuse me of cheating?[/quote]

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