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[quote=Anonymous]Soulmates don't exist, OP, so you can stop torturing yourself.

There are many people in this world that you could be compatible with. The problem is you will never meet most of them, because the world is large and you occupy a tiny portion of it. You can choose to marry only one person at a time among the small pool of people that you do meet (this being a monogamous society). All this curtails your options significantly. This is why dating apps and speed dating were invented to try and stack the odds in people's favor, so they could find more of their compatible partners. But these methods are also exhausting, and they require that people know themselves well and recognize rapidly who might be a good fit. Generally a good fit isn't based on superficial appearance, but on inner characteristics that may be difficult to explore in such settings. Most people don't choose well because they don't know themselves well.

So yes, it's hard finding a compatible partner. For all of us. In the end, a long-term marriage is more about what you are willing to tolerate instead of how compatible you are. Patient, tolerant people stay married longer than impatient, difficult people. Do they have happier marriages? Maybe, in the sense they accept what they cannot change and value stability above other attributes.

That's all there is, OP. You only have one life, and only a limited amount of control. Do with that what you will, but don't think you have less value than anyone else.

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