Reply to Does everyone deserve a soulmate?

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know if I'm phrasing this in a way that matches my thoughts so bear with me. I'm a very average person in a not-too-happy marriage. When I was still single and dating, I connected with a lot of people but the people who I found interesting, funny, supportive or attractive were people who were less interested in me. I was pretty rational about dating after that and one could argue that I settled after grad school and/or that I was realistic about how assortative mating works.

But a few threads today have me thinking: are soulmates something that exist for everyone, or only the very best people? And I don't mean the most attractive or smart, but the kindest or most hard-working or from good and caring families or whatever? Everyone who I know who talks about having a soulmate seems really privileged even before they found their soulmate- they were beautiful, or athletic, or wealthy, or came from a great neighborhood or family, or all of the above. And their soulmate matched their best attributes 1 for 1.

I'm a very flawed person. I'm nice but socially awkward, I'm healthy but don't have a remarkable body, and I have a plain face. I'm generous and careful with my friendships and relationships but not bubbly or fun so my circle has always been smaller. But even when I met similarly flawed people they seemed to date even more flawed people than me, so I wonder if they perceived themselves to be on the wrong side of assortative mating with me?[/quote]

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