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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I come from a culture with familial expectations but it seems to me that she is worried (and maybe trying to sabotage?) your relationship because she is worried that you won’t support them anymore since your time and money will be shared with your bf (maybe she pictures marriage in the future).  Do what you can to alleviate her concerns but you need and deserve to live your life. It’s possible to support them and do what you want to do. You owe that to yourself and your daughter. Good luck.

The cleanliness etc is probably related to them getting older. I know it’s hard to set this up internationally but even in developing countries, in large cities, they are beginning to have services rather than just individual people, which is much harder to manage not locally. [/quote]

She does not want me to get remarried. She said that there isn't a need because I'm not having anymore children.  I do not support them financially; they are well off living in Europe.  She paid close attention to every cent that I spent to make sure that my boyfriend always paid his share.  I have a lot more assets and savings (due to inheritance and life insurance), but I do not talk about these things with my boyfriend and I live a very very modest life style.

I have decided that I may do more frequent (and shorter) visits on my own now.  The cleanliness issue is definitely getting worse.  There are other family members helping with cleaning, but they have also voiced concerns.  I have offered to pay for additional cleaning personnel, but she refuses it and she said that the cleaning services are subpar.  I clean when I'm there, but it is literally a full-time job to get things on track.  The biggest issue are the cats who are spraying and making a mess on carpets and keeping their food clean.  [/quote]

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