Reply to MIL's disdain for those who move in retirement

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother demonizes anyone who moves away, puts their parents in AL or basically doesn't cater to their elderly parents. She also barely lifted a finger for her own elderly parents. Her sister who was put in AL is in much better shape. It's a luxury place and it was for her and my uncle's safety. My mother also tries all sorts of far worse manipulations-making threats, hurling insults, etc to get people to fall into line.

Sometimes you just have to learn to detach with love for your own survival. We had some major stressors (life threatening health issue) and just could no longer cater. She showed her true colors by still making everything all about her. We make sure she is properly cared for and are more behind the scenes-hiring a professional to manage things and make sure she she has caregivers, therapies when needed after surgery, etc.

We no longer engage with the negativity and manipulations. No time for it. We redirect or simply exit stage left. You want to make sure they receive decent care, but as the old saying goes on here no need to set yourself on fire to keep them warm.[/quote]

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