Reply to DH struggling with postpartum and I resent it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does he have parents alive? Id try to get them to come so he can be with his parents and the baby and see how they do it. If they are nice Id mention what you said here and ask for help[/quote]

His parents probably wont do anything and IMO have a very bizarre dynamic. Mom works and handles almost all household labor, dad stays home and does.. pretty much nothing other than hobbies that are supposed to one day start making money and currently dont. I think they believe I should be doing pretty much everything around the house, including cleaning and of course full time breastfeeding. I dont have a close relationship with them and have distanced myself [/quote]

Ah. So his expectations of fatherhood are totally warped. You have to discuss that. As those are not the expectations you two have for him right? [/quote]

I have told him point blank that I will never be doing everything around the house for him and basically that I am nothing like his mom. He "accepted" that but I think deep inside he still resents me for it and has gotten mad at me several times that the place isnt clean enough, even though I am exclusively breast feeding and sleep deprived and doing my best. To his credit, he does cook for me and helps around the house, but yesterday he basically admitted how much he resents it and that he "doesnt feel connected to me anymore" (this was said like it was some huge deal, like a horrible indictment of our relationship). He's very sexual and I wonder if it's because we havent had sex yet? But it almost enrages me that he has so little patience or understanding of what having an INFANT is like. And I get that this is a hard period and we're both struggling but every few days he crashes out about how awful his life has become and I have to talk him down and reassure him, and I'm completely sick of it. I shouldnt be up half the night, worrying about my marriage being over, in addition to the lost sleep I'm already getting from waking up every three hours to nurse. And no matter how many times I try to tell him this, it's clear he's miserable and that he thinks this situation is somehow uniquely horrible to him and he's being somehow victimized by me and the child.[/quote]

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