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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents are generally kind people but growing up I often felt a dismissive attitude, like I had to be a certain way to accommodate and please everyone or else I was meant to feel annoying and bad.

Ds and dd both went to them for a week (abroad as part of a big trip, firs trip there without us in years), now ds is with friends elsewhere. He had a great time at my parents’. And now dd is spending more time there alone this summer and she is having the same exact experience I had growing up. My dad is especially bad around strangers and will put dd down to please them or to apologize for what he perceives as rude (like dd politely refusing to try a spread at a store), agreeing dd has a big accent when she speaks. I’m upset. I feel bad about her having this bad experience and it’s bringing back bad memories of my own teen years. My brother could do no wrong, now ds can do no wrong.[/quote]

I’m going to gently push back on your narrative that your dd is “having the same exact experience I had.” She’s not. She’s spent her entire life growing up with you, and is now spending a few weeks with your less-than-stellar parents. She will be fine. Trust that you’re raising a bright, resilient daughter who can handle this.

If you’re seeing a therapist, these feelings that have been churned up would be good to discuss. If not, you might benefit from writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. You can note how hard it was AND how much you’ve accomplished and are grateful for.

Peace to you. [/quote]

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