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[quote=Anonymous]You don't know what is going on internally with that family. You have one version of the story from the person who is on the receiving end of those decisions.

My mom, who can be a lovely person, was an absolute nightmare when I had a baby. I didn't lock her out of the process but in retrospect it probably would have been highly beneficial to my well being. She became obsessive about my baby's name, would interrogate me every time we spoke about what we were going to name the baby, would call me at random hours to warn me off of certain names. She became depressed and would complain to me about her depression and wanted me to act as her therapist, in my third trimester and immediately postpartum. She came to visit after the baby was born (at my invitation) and she moped around the house, asking to hold the baby and not wanting to give her back when I said I needed to feed her, expecting to be fed and entertained (I was mere days postpartum at this point), sharing weird stories from her own childbirth experiences that were upsetting or disconcerting (like a story about what an ugly baby I was, for instance).

If you met my mom, you'd never believe this had happened. You would assume I'm exaggerating and that I was just being an oversensitive, hormonal new mom. But it's what happened. My dad became worried about her and would call me to say he thought she might self-harm. My husband wound up cooking for her and tending to her while he was on paternity leave because she demanded it and I physically could not. It was crazy. I think me having a baby triggered some kind of buried trauma for my mom and she had like a psychotic break.

After that initial visit, I wound up distancing from her for several months because it was too much for me. I developed PPD, saw a therapist, and needed space to adjust to motherhood and find a support system since obviously it wasn't going to be my parents.

You just have no idea.[/quote]

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