Reply to Giving up vs. Pushing too hard

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Reply to "Giving up vs. Pushing too hard"

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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t know that we ever had a perfect balance. Kid is off to college in the fall, and I think he doesn’t study near enough, and he thinks he studies enough to get the outcome he wants. He still really dislikes homework, though in general he enjoys ideas and class discussion and activities.

Have you read The Self Driven Child? In the end that steered our approach. “I love you too much to argue about homework.” We insisted that he do all assignments and turn them in, and we offered support on studying and paper writing. We set a rule that if a class grade (not an assignment grade) dipped below a C he’d have to accept intervention of some sort - tutoring, parental oversight, study hours, whatever.

It wasn’t perfect. His grades are lower than I wish. But he is an incredible young man - kind, wise, thoughtful, and a leader in every group of people he joins (aside from academic groups). So overall I’m glad we trusted him to make decisions about how hard he was going to work at school.

I think it helps if there is something else your kid can work hard at and struggle and excel. That connection between hard work and success is important, but it doesn’t necessarily work for our kids and academics. They can work hard and still fail. So something where they can succeed is great. For my son it is a sport, and he’ll be playing in college.

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