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[quote=Anonymous]DD14 has done a lot of growing this past year. She’s made some really close friends, is active in activities at school, and is just “busy”. We definitely prioritize her social life and believe we would be remiss not to, since the whole point of growing up is learning to branch out and leave home. In a few short months when she turns 15, she will also have a little job as well. Even as her parents, we are learning to embrace this new relationship. She’s off at school or with friends more than she’s home, but we cherish the time we spend with her, understanding she’s growing up and this is our new normal. In just three years, she will move out to college.

But grandma, my mom, is having a really hard time with this and taking it personally. We didn’t see my mom a lot this past year and a half due to frequent medical issues for her and rotating sickness for us, and so DD went from a more childlike 13yo to the more matured almost 15yo she is now.  My mom lives in a retirement community with a pool and still thinks DD wants to come and swim like a fish for hours; she doesn’t. She also doesn’t want to spend an entire day hanging out with grandma. There’s a history that is too involved to get into, but DD hasn’t enjoyed 1:1 time with my mom for a while, but my mom still expects it. What DD is willing to do is to do things like have dinner with my mom 1:1, or with us, maybe do a short activity 1:1 (like visiting a museum for a couple hours) and then coming home. But my mom still thinks she’s this 8yo who is eager to spend sunrise to sunset galavanting with grandma.

How do I help my mom embrace the new normal? Do you have some magical words I can use?[/quote]

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