Reply to Emptiness after WW Affair

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m assuming you reconciled and did not split up? 
It seems your relationship may have improved to the “just bearable” point instead of actually thriving, it’s the trap of good enough when you look at how miserable you might be day-to-day versus throwing away half your money and devastating your children.  
I totally get it.

Your nervous system is fried from betrayal, dopamine is five levels below the basement and you don’t have a memory of ever really being happy. When you try to think back to good times you are likely working in memories from 10 years earlier but everything in the past 18 months is just gray fog, you can’t even remember what you had for lunch yesterday. 
You may have heard a long list of excuses for her behavior, maybe you even took some responsibility for her actions, now you don’t respect her and worse you don’t respect yourself. 
You may still be playing out the revenge fantasies in the shower when your eyes are closed, laying down that one zinger before you slam the door and walk out forever, maybe it’s an elaborate system to vacuum all the money out of the accounts at the same time then revealing all the evidence of her betrayal to her family, you’d love to pull off some sort of Shawshank revenge but you can’t plan more than a few hours in advance.

I did it all and then I came to the truth, the truth of who I was that I alone had steered to that place in life were the one I trusted the most betrayed me and I despised who I saw.

Over two years I changed everything, took my power back, refused to live in any sort of delusion only 100% truth. There was no revenge, I didn’t f&$k her best friend, I tore myself apart and rebuilt from the ground up. She can’t be hurt me again, there’s nothing she can say or do to get a rise out of me, she has become a minor tangential character in the second chapter of my life.

I can’t tell you how to fix what you’re in, you’ll need to find it on your own and when you do the sky will be the limit.

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