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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar position and it was really awful for a couple of years. We fought, judged, lashed out, had stalemates, considered divorce and just struggled to find peace. Finally, we both started working on ourselves and I became less critical of it as he simultaneously stopped using it and found more productive hobbies and some self nourishing activities. Like you, our marriage was stressed before getting to that point so it may have been a negative byproduct. He may still use it but I wouldn't even care now as his life and mine are much fuller with other preoccupations. I didnt realize it was possible to get here but the key was focusing on the positives you want to hang onto and communicating. I think lack of communication was the biggest obstacle for us and why it took a while to move past the conflict. I have my own stresses now but on his end I think seeing the output of productivity for the really positive ways he spends his time have been too good to pass up. 
Right now, try not to get engulfed in this and find a way to care for yourself.[/quote]

Can you talk more about how you were able to trust him again (assuming some financial infidelity)? Did you keep sharing finances with him?[/quote]

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