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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You get some therapy for figuring out how not be so far deep in each other's business, that you don't know where your concerns end and hers begin.  Boundaries, limits, learn where yours are and learn to accept that it's emotional manipulation to worry what her reaction will be. [/quote]

You have some real trouble.  There is zero possibility that both of you will be ok with any decision.  You have to choose your marriage.  And you have to choose you and your family.  The only way to tell her you don't want her there is directly.  She sounds like an exaggerated version of my mom, who thinks the world revolves around her.  She cannot (and doesn't want to) change.  She won't get hints and might place the negativity upon your husband "Bill didn't want Jane to have me as a support for the baby".  My mom does crap like that.  I had to say "it's not Bill.  It's me.  I don't want you around because I don't like who I am around you because blah blah blah".  It made her cry and she stopped talking to me for a while.  Our relationship has never been the same, but it's better for everyone. Be glad you are an only child.  My mom's favorite narcissistic tool is triangulation.  And she applies it liberally. [/quote]

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