Reply to Is it reasonable to stop visiting ILs?

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[quote=Anonymous]You sound very resentful, OP. I hope you're not really. They can't help being old and tired and set in their ways! Their world is getting smaller and they're obsessing over something (with them it's cleanliness, with others it's something else). It's SO typical of elderly folk!

My parents are getting to be this way too - and they were great travelers in their day (engineer father, teacher mother, so reasonably educated and alert). Please don't hold your in-laws' poverty and lack of curiosity over their heads. Even the rich and educated come to this in the end.

You will have to make more and more adjustments, and it should be on your family, not them. Your kids are going to become more flexible as they age, and you're still in the prime of life. Of course, go to bed when you're tired, but don't expect them to go with you anywhere, and please clean up after yourself when you're visiting. Maybe you should go to a hotel nearby, to lighten their burden, and only arrive to sit and chat for a few hours. That's what we do with my MIL - she cannot host overnight visitors or accompany us anymore. I sit at her kitchen table and listen to her talk about her life. My kids sit politely with books or screens, and do their best to respond when asked questions.  I did this with my grandparents too, back in the day.

You can choose to reduce the number of visits, but do not abandon them entirely. One day, you'll be old and decrepit too, and your world will restrict itself to obsessively wiping down your kitchen counters... but you'll still be glad when your grandkids come and visit, even if you have absolutely nothing in common with them!
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