Reply to Working on my conversational skills: do you like being asked these sorts of questions?

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[quote=Anonymous]I've been actively working to improve my conversational skills as a way to get over social anxiety. I've been reading a lot about tips for improving conversation, and of course the top recommendations are "ask more questions" and "listen more." I think I'm a naturally good listener but I struggle with asking questions so I've specifically been looking for ideas on the kinds of questions to ask people that will help get conversation going and give me a chance to listen without feeling so much pressure to talk (long silences or feeling like the person I'm talking to is bored are big anxiety triggers for me).

Some experts suggest asking more probing questions about people's thought process and feelings, to get people to be more expansive in their answers and to show them you are interested in them. Stuff like "what made you decide to do that?" after they tell you about a hobby they have, or "how are you feeling about it?" when they tell you they just sold their house.

This is throwing me though because I would HATE being asked questions like this. It feels very invasive! If I don't know someone quite well, I would feel so awkward to be asked about my thought process or feelings about something personal.

But maybe I'm an outlier. If you were asked questions like this by someone you met for the first time at a party, would you feel flattered and enthusiastic to answer, or would it feel invasive and off-putting?[/quote]

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