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[quote=Anonymous]My kids are the same age distance apart. I would not make this about supporting her sibling. You had family plans to do something, you gave her leeway to hang out with her friends the day before, and she knew about the commitment in advance. The fact that she freaked out about it an reneged on the commitment because she was tired means clearly next time she should be hanging out so late with friends the night before. Tell her that this is what her actions have demonstrated and that until she has demonstrated more maturatity she won’t be hanging out with friends the night before you have family plans. But don’t make it about the sister

Also don’t require your teen to go to all a siblings events though. I’ve found that dropping that has resulted in kids who are more supportive of each other on their own terms. If I told my 15 year old he had to go to his 14 year old brother’s basketball game he’d spend the whole time sighing loudly or on his phone. Lately though he’s actually suggested he come for part (on our way somewhere else) and actually paid attention. And he and all his friends were cheering him on at a swim meet this morning. Especially as teens I feel these things work out best when not forced.[/quote]

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