Reply to How have you maintained close friendships with friends struggling with infertility/loss?

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[quote=Anonymous]It took me five years to get pregnant and during that time I went into a very deep depression and withdrew a lot from many people.  One friend in particular was there for me like no one else.   While I was struggling she had two healthy children.  We remained very close because she listened, she let me know she was there for me, she did not complain about how hard it was to have children or talk constantly about her children.  She did talk about how hard it was once in awhile but also said that she reserved those conversations for friends with kids.  Friends who could relate and friends who were not desperately trying to get pregnant.   We of course did talk about her children but she really seemed to let me lead the way.  If I called her crying about yet another failed IVF cycle she didn't say stupid things like "want one of mine?"  She just listened.  Looking back, I am certain it was a pretty uneven friendship there for awhile with her doing a lot more reaching out and a lot more listening then I did.  I am forever grateful to her.   We had years and years of friendship behind us by this point so I think that may have been part of the reason she was so patient and considerate with me.  We both had a lot invested in the friendship.  I am now lucky enough to be a mother and she is still my best friend.

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