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[quote=Anonymous]We have been married for nearly 20 years and have 9 years left before the youngest leaves for college.

We tolerate each other and there are moments of happiness but I see the seething anger he has for me.

It’s gotten worse since I discovered him having an emotional affair with a colleague, including long lunches full of alcohol and constant communication. He also stopped wearing his wedding ring, removed all pictures of me in his office, only leaving one with him with our kids.

When I found out and told him to end it, he was furious with me and looked at me with rage for weeks.

It’s been two years since and I still see glimpses of his rage pop up. He’ll go off on some random thing I supposedly did, and a few times, while going off in a rage he will throw things in anger at my pillow where I sleep. It’s honestly a bit scary.

He has also had anger outbursts towards the girls when “helping them” with homework, if they don’t understand and other random reasons. They beg me to not have him help them with homework. I want to leave him but don’t want to have them stay alone with him overnight, since standard practice is 50/50. My oldest, in tears, once told me, “I don’t want to live with him anymore, Mommy,” after he got in her face nose to nose about a typical sibling fight she had with her sister. I stormed in and got in between them, yelled at him, but damage was done. He’s 6ft, 235 lbs, she was 10.

Thinking to have an honest conversation that it’s clear we aren’t in love anymore and I’m sure he wants his freedom. Happy to give it, so as long as the girls live with me 100% and he visits all he wants and still has 50% legal custody.

Has anyone asked for a divorce and somehow managed to convince the husband to give 100% physical custody to the Mom?

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