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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Volitile dad and impact on kids under 10"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s terrible for the kids, but you know that. Be there for her in whatever way doesn’t make him worse, and be the spot she can go with no judgment. When she is ready to escape, you want her to call you. So no badmouthing him now bc it will cause a bigger rift. (It’s hard to feel like he can abuse her without consequences, but she has to be the one deciding when she is ready.)[/quote] This is the answer. It just is. Give her dignity — especially since he isn’t giving her any. Be gentle, because she will need gentleness. Try not to judge, if only because your judgement won’t help her or the kids. Be a soft place for her to land — in small ways now, and hopefully in big ways later. Pretend you get along with him if you have to. Be honest when she asks what you think, or even if she floats some trial balloons, but be careful. Pushing her too hard might just push her away, and then she’ll be even more isolated. This is very tricky stuff. I had a friend who was in this situation for a long, long time. She’s out now, but it took years. It’s very hard to watch. [/quote]
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