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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not have agreed to be designated in the first place.

For any who are capable of handling it, you need to tell them you can't do it. Don't ask them, don't hint, TELL them. It's not a discussion and you don't need their permission and you don't need to help them find a replacement.[/quote]

Easier when you’re not their next of or only kin. I’m dealing with multiple relatives unrelated to each other with no kids or sieving siblings. [/quote]

You need to get comfortable with having boundaries and dealing with the fallout. It's about integrity. You don't say "yes" to something you know you cannot handle. you give a gentle and firm no and deal with the fallout. The more entitled and selfish they are the more they will create drama. Yes, it's painful having people disappointed, but it shows integrity to be honest. You didn't say no from the start, but at least say "no" while they are still healthy and capable of finding someone else. it would be heartless to wait until someone is disabled and incapable to bail. Sometimes doing the right thing for your family you created is about making hard choices, and right and wrong is complicated because it is wrong to ruin your own sanity and health for a relative. On the other hand, you need to deal with this before they are in a dire situation.[/quote]

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