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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I watched my mom take care of many elderly relatives (her dad, my dad'd dad, a great aunt who was in a vegetative state for many years, another relative who refused to move from his hoarder apartment, and more.  She always said, "you have to move before you need to."

Fast forward 30-40 years, and guess who didn't move until it was too late?  That's right, my mom.

I think we all *think* we will do it right, and then we get there, and think we aren't that old, we aren't too old, and then we are and it's too late.[/quote]

Actually some people do it right. The relatives I have who actually did the hard labor you all mention, broke the cycle with their own kids (most of them). My parents were the golden children who did little, flew in occasionally and were treated like royalty with little empathy for their siblings. They lived in denial and it has made for an utterly insane situation over a number of years.

We all need to do exactly what your mom said even if she didn't follow her own advice-move before you need to. Make these choices while you still have empathy and cognitive abilities in tact.

OP you have a right to feel resentment. Just don't let it eat you alive. Figure out what can be outsourced with their money. People say all these cliches about how your kids will be watching and following you example, etc. Your kids don't want to see you fall apart and be a martyr. You figure out what won't drive you insane because if your kids see you lose your mental and/or physical health with these duties, they will likely avoid them like the plague when it's their turn. Boundaries are a great thing to model for them.[/quote]

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