Reply to How do I tell my sister she's the problem?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If someone has already approached her about getting a diagnosis/therapy and medication, and she's refused, then why do you think your talking to her will do any good?

TBH, YOU may be part of the problem. At least in how you are viewing someone else's marriage/family from the outside.

Here's why: Your entire post makes it seem like you are heaping it all on your sister and making your BIL and the kids seem like they are all "perfect."

I feel sorry for your sister. She is calling you up when she's down and you are looking for ways to further step on her.

You seem like you may be getting between her and her husband in a passive aggressive way.

Do you have designs on your BIL? Are you jealous of your sister?

[/quote]

OP here. I absolutely love my sister. She's a good person. And I have been a sounding board for years. I'm a good listener and I really try my best to not be judgmental but the last dumping session on the phone sort of turned my mind. I just feel different?

I think her family is normal like mine. I think her kids are good kids but normal. Like mine. I think her husband -- from what I see and everything she told me (and it's a lot) -- is basically someone trying their best who loves them but has sort of given up on trying to make them happy. She's basically told me her entire family has given up on her happiness. This was the ah ha moment and red flag because why has she?

I am terrible at straight talk. I get flustered, but I am going to try to frame it like why aren't you happy with you. The other thoughts are good ones. But there is something about being so bogged down you can't see the forest from the trees. [/quote]

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