Reply to Do you think it's okay to criticize the behavior of a kid who is not yours?

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[quote=Anonymous]I was talking to a friend this morning and she asked how things are going with my oldest at school. I said things were mostly fine, but she's been having issues with another girl in her grade (4th grade). My friend asked what kind of issues and I sort of hemmed and hawed because what is happening is not exactly bullying and I didn't want to frame it that way. But this girl is just... not nice. She's very condescending, she teases people a lot. She is an excellent student and a great athlete, but she's mean about it. She's not stuffing kids into lockers but she's also not making much effort to be kind or open-minded and she really relishes winning, which she does a lot. And my kid's 4th grade year sometimes feels like it's just all about this girl. My kid is doing well in school, has friends and hobbies, teachers seem to like her, etc. No real problems. Except this girl who always seems to be taking little jabs or doing this weird passive aggressive thing where she asks my kid a bunch of questions so she can interrogate her answers (reminiscent of the "so you think you're pretty?" scene in Mean Girls). Or this kid will win at something and then talk about it for the next three days and my kid will come home sad even if it wasn't even something she cared about originally. It's exhausting.

Anyway, I said "Yeah, I'm looking forward to middle because it will be nice to get away from this little ***hole," and my friend was really shocked I said that and lectured me for like five minutes about how that's not an okay thing to say about a child, and how this kid's behavior might be driven by insecurities (I do not think it is, I've known this kid for years, she's not insecure -- she's overconfident and thinks she's the best and it's gone to her head) and I need to be empathetic and not critical.

I think it's an okay thing to say about this particular child, who is in fact something of an ***hole.

But I'm curious what other people think, so opening it up for discussion.[/quote]

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