Reply to Tween girl emotions are wild

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Tween girl emotions are wild "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It didn’t erase the whole day, she will still have good memories of the field trip and the pizza. Especially if you don’t make a huge deal about  the meltdown.

Most likely she was tired or hormonal or there was something else at play (friend drama) that she didn’t have control over.

When she’s calm the next day I would talk to her briefly about her reaction to not getting what she wanted. Say “I understand you’re disappointed we couldn’t go, but we aren’t going to fulfill your every wish. Was there something else going on that upset you?” Then try to hold back and reaction or judgment until she stops talking. I have a pretty strong relationship with my older teen and I think it’s because we communicate well. And part of the parent’s role is listening without always reacting. [/quote]

Gosh, you are way nicer than me. I would have reminded her I volunteered for the field trip (her request), allowed the friends to come to your home and bought them pizza. I did all of this for YOU, not for me. Show some appreciation. [/quote]

Have you read or followed Lisa D’Amour? She’s written books and has a podcast about parenting teens. One of her most helpful tips is to not take things personally. What happened after the field trip was NOT related to the field trip. If she had this tantrum on a regular day, should mom be less reactive? But because mom was generous that day she should be angrier? I’m not the type to excuse my kid’s behaviors, but I do know to not take things personally and I also know that I get more mileage out of the “lesson” part of a conversation when my teens are not still in fight/flight/freeze mode. The next day they are WAY more receptive to discussing appropriate behaviors.

As adults we are not perfect, we should not expect perfection from our kids. 13 IS a tough age-hormonal and brain changing and physically changing.

So far this has worked well with my two teens and we have strong relationships and they are good kids who make good choices. It could be luck, but I also think following an expert’s advice has helped us along the way. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics