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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I have four kids.  We paid for college for all of them.  Two graduated from college and two did not.  The two that did are living in other big cities and have effectively launched.  We have a very nice relationship with both.  We are close, but careful to have a healthy relationship with them.  We don’t offer unsolicited advice. We respect that they are grownups.  It’s been a nice transition.

The two that did not graduate are still struggling and floundering. They are now 28 and 30.  Neither can keep a job for very long.  It is never their fault.  They are not responsible about bill paying and credit scores, etc.  We know this because they continue to have their mail sent to our house. They do not live with us, but do ask for financial help from time to time.    We almost always gently say no.  We will not co-sign leases and cars, because they are just not responsible.  When we say no, we usually get some type of drama and angry outburst.  We won’t engage when they act disrespectfully.  It can be exhausting to deal with them.  Their chaotic lives and dramatic outbursts really stress us out.  I guess my question is how do you stop letting their chaos stress you out?  At this age, we feel strongly that our role should be cheering them on and not enabling them.

Thoughts?[/quote]

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