Reply to Co-owning the second home

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Co-owning the second home"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]DH's dad asked him a few years ago to take over management of the beach house with FiL's brother (DH uncle). DH now has severe dementia and is not at all involved in management of the house. The beach house was built by the grandparents then co-owned by the brothers for over 25 years.

The uncle is the older of the two siblings and he has always behaved as if he is 8 and FiL is 6. He has always taken the lead on the property management. I think I've even heard him say that his parents wanted it this way.

The uncle and wife never consulted my ILs on any renos/updates/redecorating done over the years. But FiL wanted it that way - didn't want any arguments - and his wife largely acquiesced.

Well, DH is largely not the acquiescing type. He is mostly paying his family's share of the annual expenses and he wants a say on many of the matters as the house is only used 3 months out of the year. The uncle, wife, and adult kids are not happy that he is no longer cutting checks to them whenever requested for pricey updates. TBH, it's mainly the wife and the daughters, but the uncle is the conduit.

DH asked the uncle two months ago for the amount he should cut for the summer 2025 expenses, including a line item outline of the expenses. DH then cut the check and didn't think much more about it.

Today a copy of a bill arrives, indicating we need to reimburse for half the cost of new DR furniture. This was never discussed with us. And you can tell from the date on the bill that the uncle knew about this when he gave the summer 2025 expenses to DH. Basically, they want a more luxe set-up and want us to subsidize it.

DH is vacillating between being furious and wanting to ignore it. He didn't think all items needed to be replaced and would've opted for lower price point furniture for the items that did (think Crate + Barrel v quasi-custom). He really appreciates that his uncle takes care of a lot of the details and also thinks that he should be consulted on major purchases.

Anyone here ever had success in managing these kinds of relationships, especially when it is cross-generational?

TIA.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics