Reply to If your kids have no friends do they talk to you more how does life look?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD has lots of kids she is friendly with but no close friends.  It is fine.  It doesn’t upset her, she is an introvert and gets adequate chatting at home with parents and siblings.  She plays sports and talks to teammates and she talks to classmates.  She isn’t interested in the same things a lot of her peers are interested in.  As long as she is happy, I am happy.

She has had closer friends and that was good too.  At this point she knows that creating opportunities for closer friendships would require effort and the payoff isn’t worth the effort at this moment.  That is her decision and I have no reason to fight it and make both of us miserable.[/quote]

This really describes ds 13 too. He never had any friends until about 5th grade. He made a pretty good friend that year, then in sixth grade I heard him start mentioning the same names over and over. He sits with them at lunch and plays football with them. But I don’t get the impression he “talks” to them about much. Nor does he see them outside of school. But he goes to a nerdy gifted school that kids attend from the larger county, and kids live all over. I don’t get the impression many (most?) of the boys are seeing friends outside of school, unless they are in parent organized events (which bizarrely is still happening in middle school). But…. He is very happy. I don’t get the impression kids are teasing or bullying him. When I see him around other kids from school, most happily say hi to him. I think it is mostly personality; they switch classes every period so he has no consistency in people from hour to hour, and he’s always been extremely quiet in chaos. Chatty in quiet settings. He always tells me there is no time to be social at school. I always think that can’t possibly be true, other kids are clearly socializing. I think his head space is just not open to socializing during the chaos of a school day. His brain is just elsewhere and coping.

It does make me and his dad sad, as we were both popular and were/are extremely social. But I have to remind myself that he’s a happy balanced kid and I have to trust that he knows where he’s going. [/quote]

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