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Reply to "Advice for dealing with parent who tries to control relationship between adult children"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every time she does this, you tell her no "I'm not triangulating if you have something to tell someone, tell them directly." [/quote] Often really dysfunctional people escalate and even rage when confronted this directly. Sure you can try this, but have a plan if things get crazy. With the dysfunctional people where we have low contact, we simply manage things with our own boundaries and when they escalate we take a break or try to change the subject. We found using any psychological terms like "triangulating" was a sure way to add gas to a fire and ignite defensiveness and anger. On the other hand with someone emotionally healthy, you're more likely to get questions for clarification in an non-defensive matter, self-reflection or respectful disagreement. i don't do any group chats. We found all the crazy dynamics entered the chat. Even with friend groups I no longer do it, but I tend to prefer close bonds 1-1 or couple to couple or family to family bondsthese days and don't do the group stuff that much. When I did the whole mom group thing I found some moms would complain to me outside the chat about being offended by another mom in the chat. I have too much to balance to add unneeded dramatics to my life.[/quote]
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