Reply to Coping with anxiety once kids are no longer at home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Out-of-sight, out-of-mind.

I worry far less than if they were doing the exact same things they are doing, but lived under my roof.

Of course, I don't know about 99% of the things they are doing.[/quote]

+1 What causes me most anxiety is when they tell me about an issue that has them upset and that they are having trouble dealing with. I don't try to fix their problems, but it does make me worry. But over time, I've realized that they just want to vent to me and don't think to tell me when the issue got resolved (as they always do). They also don't think to tell me the good things going on in their lives so I'm more proactive about steering our conversations toward positive things. I don't want to just be their dumping ground.[/quote]

OP here and I am terrible at this. They tell me everything all the time, big and small issues. I want to save the day, and if I resist saving the day it completely upsets me still that they have some issue. Sometimes I wish they told me a little less of the negative stuff and just would deal on their own. I really dread having a lot of bad calls.[/quote]

Interesting, I have two kids. My oldest over shares everything (always has) and he's the one that gives me more anxiety. He worries and overthinks everything and then over shares with me. While I appreciate his openness he stresses me so much and worrying about him gives me anxiety at times. Even though I worry about him when he's in College, it's not as bad as when he's home... When he's away, I'm able to enjoy days and sometimes a couple of weeks worry free, so it is true, out of sight/out of mind.

My youngest, who is more "independent" and doesn't share so much (never has) is such a breeze for me. I'm never at my wits end with him or worrying sickly over what he does or where he goes.

Clearly my anxiety is induced by my oldest but I wouldn't change the relationship we have... so here I am "treating" my anxiety which goes really well with my menopause! LOL.

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