Reply to I’m done—drop rope without warning?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is sort of like a three strikes, you’re out-type situation, only I don’t know how to proceed.

I realize I’ve been wrong in pushing my DH to be a “better” son to his mom who I now see isn’t a great mom. That was horrible of me. I should have seen the signs and not ignored my husband’s complacency, because it was telling me everything I needed to know.

I pushed DH to plan a brunch on Mother’s Day. When I asked if he had made plans already he shrugged and said “should I?” To which I encouraged him, and then MIL canceled. This happens quite often. My eyes are open now and I’m done.

Do I just stop suggesting? What happens when we don’t plan something and or show up empty handed (no gift, no hostess gift, etc, because DH didn’t put in the effort.) I will no longer be suggesting we attend things that I know my DH doesn’t want to attend, or conceive plans for events that he has otherwise ignored or forgotten, like Mother’s Day. I don’t even want to suggest (do you have plans, you should make plans, etc) because then I think he feels forced. [/quote]

Yes.  You stop suggesting.  You show up empty handed or whatever.  You absolutely don't force normal rules of politeness in a family where they don't play by the rules.  You take your cue from your husband and play by the rules his rude mother set for their family tone.  Otherwise you are going to be left totally frustrated.[/quote]

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