Reply to “Beta” dad- teen doesn’t respect him

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“ DH pretty much gives the kids want they want, does what they want but eventually if he feels they’re disrespectful he loses it.”

It sounds like one day your son is going to FAFO, and that sounds like it will be for the best.  You call it “beta,” but as an adult, your son might refer to it as “a well of undeserved patience.”

Unless your DH is asking for guidance or is mistreating your son, I would back off and let them find their own way.
[/quote]

What do you mean gives them what they want?  Is he not parenting with appropriate boundaries and lets you handle that part?[/quote]

I pretty much handle all the boundaries. Screen time, healthy food, homework time, etc. I hold the line on everything. For example on days when I’m not home, like a Saturday where I’m out at errands, the kids eat take out and sit on their screens for 8 hours. DH loves them & would happily play with them or take them somewhere but they want screens so he just shrugs his shoulders and lets them. 
DH will get them off if I tell him to, but otherwise he’s just checked out since they’re happy.  I get upset because I explain to him that we’re the parents and have to ensure they’re living in a healthy way, even if it’s not fun for us, but he just can’t seem to enforce anything. It’s not that he’s lazy or checked out! It’s truly that he wants to make them happy! It’s so frustrating.

DS has seen these convos play out, which is a mistake on my part, so that’s probably partially why he doesn’t respect DH. DS knows I don’t respect DH’s parenting. [/quote]

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