Reply to Lessons Learned

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Lessons Learned"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My mother lived with us the last 5 years of her life. It was not fun for any of us, even though we all got along before she moved in after a sudden turn for the worse in her health.

She is gone 3 months now, and I can share lessons learned.

First, even though it’s not fun to think about, before your parent becomes infirmed, have the discussion of what their wishes are. We avoided it because anytime we brought it up it would depress my mom. But because she had a sudden turn for the worse, she had to make an immediate decision: move in with us or go to a long term care facility.

She was very unhappy living with us, though she chose that option. Nothing pleased her. We thought she would be happy being around the children, but all she did was complain about the noise and snipe about our parenting. We thought she would enjoy going to senior activities and meeting people, but all she did was complain about everyone there. She caused marital discord for us, and the children said things like, “why does Nana hate us?”

She improved in health and we suggested we go and see assisted living since she was unhappy with us and could have more independence. She wouldn’t even visit.

I know many elderly people have depression and it’s not her fault. But it was her decision to not talk to a therapist, take medication, or make an effort.

I’m sorry she is gone, but I wish we had talked to her about all this when she was healthy and right in the head. Maybe it would have gone differently and the last years of her life might have been more positive for both her and the family. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics