Reply to S/o meeting the ex-wife: what are the girlfriends thinking?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is my friend at 37.  Spent most of her 20s with a jerk and then worked on herself.  Now at her age, the amount of single and childless kids who are good catches is small.  She also likes kids but doesn't particularly want to have a baby in her late 30s so is fine if he has kids.   Her  soon to be husband is divorced with a 5 and 8 year old.   There really is no drama.  They all attend kids events without issues.   My friend was also mature enough that she was fine with the whole "kids come first" part of the relationship.  [/quote]

If everyone is emotionally stable, combined with a new wife that is willing to put the kids first AND doesn't want kids of her own, can work. [/quote]

That's the thing - if someone doesn't want kids, they definitely don't want stepkids.  At least if you have your own kids, they might love you back and appreciate the sacrifices you make for them.  More often than not, you can't win with stepkids - there's literally no upside.  [/quote]

I don't disagree with this. But I think an Ex is less crazy in a situation if the new wife puts the step kids first and doesn't want her own kids. I know a couple of my mom's friends who married divorced men with kids and didn't have kids of their own. It's only problematic now when the DH starts needing help and the kids have to step in and shunt the forever new woman aside.  [/quote]

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