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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Why do you need to meet with her one on one?

This ex wife seems extremely attached to the ex 
Do you want to deal w her and those antics as a girlfriend? long term?  Are you NOT turned off by that?

An ex who hasn't moved on and behaves as such is a BIG Red Flag.

[/quote]

Because the parenting agreement gives the ex the option to meet her.

OP, it seems like you are thinking in girlfriend mode. Not wife/stepmother/coparent mode. It doesn't matter that you don't share finances now. She clearly thinks you will in the future. You're thinking about getting through one short meeting, but you need to be thinking about how you will interact with her forever. Because that's what this is, if you move in with this man. Every dropoff and pickup, every school function, every life event, you will be dealing with her. Every expense-- and big kids are expensive
Graduation, prom, college visits, college decision, graduation, wedding, becoming grandparents, she will be there and be crazy about all of these things.

Do you want to co-parent kids with: 1) A man who doesn't deal with his ex in a way you think is good; and 2) A crazy mom; and 3) her awfulness showing up in kid behavior, and kid mental health.

Now, every dumb girlfriend/2nd wife thinks boundaries and structure can fix this. But it's not as simple as that.
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